Sunday 20 November 2011

a relocation

I love how Blogger reminds you when you last blogged when you log into the dashboard page. 3 June - over 5 months ago :-(

I've relocated to WordPress! Hopefully I will do better with this one...

Friday 3 June 2011

Break point

I had planned to watch Sleepless in Seattle tonight (to complement You've Got Mail from two nights ago), instead I spent most of the day watching the most exciting tennis in many years. Nadal vs Murray was already quite exciting, but it's the Federer-Djokovic match that (almost) stopped my heart. It was simply phenomenal. Both players were playing exceptionally well; the rallies were thrilling and there were plenty of magical shots flying across court.

If Nadal and Federer continue to play like they did today, then it might be time for Federer to de-throne Nadal at Roland Garros. Nadal hasn't been playing his best and Federer is getting back on form, and if Federer wins on Sunday, it'll be the biggest win of his career since beating Pete Sampras in the 4th round of Wimbledon in 2001.

I'm quite looking forward to tomorrow's women's final. Li Na has already proved that she's capable of winning a grand slam (runner-up at the Australian Open in January; lost to the then-unstoppable Kim Clijsters). But even still I think Francesca Schiavone might have the edge. She's the defending champion and has already shown how well her game is suited to the clay court. Li, on the other hand, is mainly a baseline player with a very powerful forehand that is perhaps better suited to the hard court. If Li wins tomorrow - on 4th June - it would be a historical date to remember for China. I wonder what's her view on the incident from 22 years ago...

Thursday 2 June 2011

A Single Man


Today I actually watched 2 films - Ever After and A Single Man. Morgan, Afifah and Cayley have been telling me to watch Ever After for a long time so now that I have the time it became one of the films I had to watch straightaway. It exceeded my expectations - it's not just another chick-flick. It's a little bit different. It's a twist on the classic Cinderella story, and I quite liked the feisty character of the protagonist (played by Drew Barrymore), but maybe it's the setting (15th century France)...it's just not really my cup of tea. Hmmm don't really know why.

Another very different film - A Single Man. It may be the cinematographically most beautiful film I've ever seen. Everything on the screen was done to perfection - courtesy of the impeccable style of Tom Ford. The story itself is unlike the blockbusters. There's no feel-good factor that The King's Speech had. It is almost a showcase dedicated exclusively to Colin Firth's beautiful acting through the emotions of his face. The ending was a bit of an anti-climax though.



Wednesday 1 June 2011

Finally...

Yes it has been a month. A whole month has gone by since I last blogged. Now that 20 years of education has ended, I no longer have excuses not to blog. It feels weird, not having to think about study-related things. I don't feel relieved or happy though. I don't think I can feel happy until I get the results (in a month's time I guess?). In the meantime, it kinda feel like the summer of 2007, when I finished the IB exams on around 23/24 May, and most of my friends were doing A-Levels so I just got so so bored at home. If I recall correctly, it was also the summer when one night I decided to watch all 40 episodes of an old Chinese TV drama (one that I watched as a 10-year-old) about firefighters - in one go. I remember 'cause I had stayed up all night watching it, and in the morning we went to visit my grandma in the nursing home and I fell asleep in the car. I had never felt so tired before. Well this was before May 2009 when I had two essay deadlines on the same day and I had gone for 35 hours without sleep. Well, anyway, the ramble is over. I won't pull any unnecessary all-nighters anymore. Although to be honest I don't think I have the ability even if I wanted to pull an all-nighter.

My point is, this summer, I would like to do something productive (although 'productive' is a rather vague adjective). Since my favourite TV series have all ended, and I'll have to wait until September for new episodes, I'll be doing things other than watching TV. Here's what I've got on the list:

- going to watch LSO's performance of Candide this Sunday at the Barbican
- Wimbledon
- take the driver's theory test (finally!), so that once I start working and earning money, I can pay for an instructor
- watch a movie everyday (tonight was You've Got Mail). There are just so many films I have yet to watch.
- read novels. Finally I have the time to read something other than academic journals and newspaper articles
- go jogging in the parks of London
- take photos
- learn how to edit videos with iMovie
- go wander and get lost in the museums and galleries
- catch up with fellow Londoners especially the Old Girls
- Promming
- find out things to do in London that would not cost a penny (any suggestions?)

P.S. I'm also looking forward to a trip abroad at the end of June. And graduation of course.

Sunday 1 May 2011

May Madness

This is the last month of my 20 years (or 19? when did I start going to kindergarten?) of education. I have a handful of bananas and plenty of coffee in the kitchen, ready to pull all-nighters to finish 1) an essay in Japanese on gender stereotypes (I picked this topic - otherwise it would have been social withdrawal, youth delinquency, or childrearing), which is due on Tuesday 3rd; and 2) the 12,000-word dissertation in English on the U.S.-Japan alliance (due on Friday 13th...). Plus, there is an oral exam on the 9th, where I'm required to present a speech and a PowerPoint, both of which I'm taking the shortcut by using the final presentation I did at Osaka back in August.

In terms of written exams, there's the EALC32000 on the 24th, where we'll have to translate a passage from Japanese to English, and then answer an essay question in Japanese. On the 31st there is the EALC30012 exam ("Japanese Theatre in a Historical Perspective"). For this class I've missed one or two lectures and seminars, and those that I did attend I really didn't pay much attention. I managed to do pretty well in the presentation and essay, but will have to put in a lot of work studying kabuki, noh, bunraku, shingeki, Takarazuka etc. for the exam.



I, along with 24 million other Britons (plus many more worldwide), watched the Royal wedding on Friday morning. The entire event was beautiful, and I may have shed a little wedding tear (I know! That is so not me. I haven't even cried at the weddings I've actually attended). It may have been caused by the sight of the bride's dress. Sarah Burton is a genius. The dress reminded me greatly of the one Grace Kelly wore at her wedding. The Duchess-to-be looked gorgeous in the Alexander McQueen (although it was noted by many that Sarah Burton has made Lee's bold and daring style much more feminine), as everyone had expected. Personally, I thought she looked a little too thin. HRH has always been slim, but perhaps the stress of planning the wedding of the decade and being the centre of all the attention contributed to the weight loss. Her exposed neck made her look older than 29. Plus I'm not much of fan of her (and her sister's) tan, obviously not natural (despite the fact that we've been blessed with days of sunshine). Don't get me wrong, I think she's the most beautiful bride this country has seen (her physical beauty surpasses that of the late Diana, in my opinion) and I love her style, very classy and full of grace and elegance, I just think she would have looked even more stunning and healthy had she not lost weight. The dress though, it's absolutely amazing.

 

Also came under the spotlight was the Prince's bald (bigger than a mere) spot. We all knew that he's balding, but the severity was just shockingly bad. Maybe it's another by-product of the wedding stress.

For me, the climax of the wedding was when the congregation sang Parry's "Jerusalem". Jerusalem has always been my favourite hymn, we used to sing it almost every other week at school because everyone loved it so much. But I never imagined it would be used in a wedding, and never thought 1,900 snobbish aristocrats, diplomats and politicians could sing it so well! Maybe it's thanks to the wonderful acoustics of Westminster Abbey, and the fact that it was the most beautiful wedding (I loved the trees on the aisle!) of this century. On the note about the congregation, I can understand why diplomats and ambassadors serving in London are invited (instead of the head of state - this wasn't the wedding of an heir apparent to the throne), but among those who attended was the North Korean ambassador to the UK. US, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Japan...yes, but North Korea? And while the Polish and Indian ambassadors attended, there were no representatives from Russia or China. I wonder what was Clarence House's criteria for the guest list...

Sunday 17 April 2011

London calling

Last Thursday was Andrew's birthday (also my Dad's 56th). Seb, Daan and I decided to travel to London to celebrate with him. For his present, I was thinking of something One Piece or Pokemon-related, or something from Everton (Liverpool is only about 45mins away by train). Last year we bought him Pokemon t-shirts and One Piece cutlery. But here in Britain it's more difficult to find a Pokemon Centre or a manga museum. We do, however, have the Northern Quarter in Manchester. When Daan and Seb came to visit last December we walked into a comic book store (just like the one in The Big Bang Theory, only bigger), the Forbidden Planet, so I decided to go back there to have a look. There were a lot of manga (in English) and comic books, some Pokemon stuff but they were all tiny figurines, which aren't really that special. Then I walked past the Star Wars aisle, and spotted these very cool lightsaber chopsticks and had that feeling when you know you've found "the one". They came in either red/purple or red/green. I wished they had one in light blue (recalling Sheldon Cooper: "You know the pale blue of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, before it was digitally remastered?").

As for the birthday cake, I wanted to make something new. For Seb's birthday I made that luscious chocolate layer cake from The Primrose Bakery cookbook. This time I used the new Cake Days cookbook from The Hummingbird Bakery. I made, or at least I intended to make, the spiced apple cake with brown sugar meringue frosting. I got up at 6am on Tuesday morning, started making the brownies and cookies, and moved onto the cake. The cake itself is delicious, full of nutmeg, cinnamon and ginger. Grating a couple of Granny Smith apples wasn't fun though, things get a little bit messy. I went to work at midday and came back at around half five to do the frosting. The brown sugar meringue frosting is a Swiss meringue frosting; I first beat the egg whites and soft dark brown sugar over simmering water till they form soft peaks. I was supposed to add small cubes of chilled butter into the meringue, little by little, and that was supposed to stiffen the frosting. However, even before I could add all the butter, the meringue started to curdle. We all know what over-beaten egg whites look like and it's not pretty. It's also irreversible so I had to chuck that bowl of frosting away. I was beginning to run out of ingredients (which is very rare in my kitchen - I always have plenty of eggs, butter, flour and chocolate just in case I suddenly feel like baking), so I ran downstairs to get some more eggs. The frosting failed the second time too. By then I only had about 40 minutes before the cab comes to take me to the train station, so I used the remaining butter to make a simple buttercream icing. I thought vanilla buttercream icing would be too sweet, and a little bit dull. So I chose to add some coffee extract (since Andrew likes coffee so much). I only had enough icing to ice two layers of cakes, and not even enough to sandwich the cakes together. I had to use some raspberry jam I had in the fridge. The spiced apple cake was supposed to be a four-layer cake. When we eventually cut and ate the cake on Andrew's birthday, we were like "hmm...this is weird." It reminded us of that Friends episode when Rachel added beef, sautéed peas and onion to her "English trifle". Obviously, my cooking is nowhere as atrocious (thank goodness) as Rachel's, but the cake was such an odd combination of ingredients. The coffee buttercream icing was too strong that it overshadowed the lovely spices of the cake.


This wasn't the first time I've been disappointed by The Hummingbird Bakery. Last month when I made the red velvet cake, the cake turned out brown even though I had added enough food colouring. And last year for Andrew's birthday (again), I wanted to make the Brooklyn Blackout Cake but the chocolate frosting (the frosting again!) didn't and it ended up having lumps of cornflour syrup, which I had to pick out with a cocktail stick bit by bit. The Hummingbird later published a revised version of the Brooklyn Blackout Cake recipe, which I have yet to test (although why bother? The chocolate layer cake from The Primrose Bakery cookbook is good enough anyway). It's quite frustrating, when things go wrong even though you've followed the recipe to every word. I'd consider myself as a relatively experienced baker (baked my first batch of fairy cakes when I was 13), although I'm still an amateur and nowhere near the level where you can come up with your own recipe, it's very annoying and frustrating when a cake doesn't come out the way it was supposed to be.


Getting together with Daan, Seb, and Andrew was really fun, just like old times, and of course how could we not sing karaoke together? Andrew took us to this tiny Japanese secondhand book store on Brewer Street in SoHo. There were small karaoke rooms at the back of the bookshop. It felt secretive and exclusive. The songs weren't the latest ones but it had all the Japanese classics we had sung at Shidax. We actually went to the same karaoke (same room) two nights in a row. First night was just the four of us, second night was with Andrew's friends from university. But altogether we *only* sang for 5 hours, still not as intense as those 6, 7-hour sessions we have at Shidax in Onohara (9 hours for some people!).

Singing Japanese songs at a karaoke in London felt a bit weird. It was like we were in Osaka again, but we weren't. It wasn't really the same. I know it's quite impossible for all of us to get together and sing at Shidax again. But it was nice that we're all trying our best efforts to see each other as often as possible. These are friends I've spent a wonderful time with, the most talented, funny, loyal and classy, and the people I'll always love from the bottom of my heart, and I really can't imagine a world without them.


We stayed in Kensington, and had the opportunity to walk around the ever-so-beautiful Kensington Gardens. This time I also discovered the amazingness of the Whole Foods Market. It's absolutely a foodie paradise. A very expensive one though, even more so than Waitrose. For the first time I saw an artichoke (it's nowhere to be found in the supermarkets in Manchester, Asda, Sainsbury's, Tesco or Waitrose), but it was almost £4. Apart from sampling chocolates and cheese, and the oh-so-cute sesame street-themed cupcakes, I was in awe of the cheese room. My jaw dropped when I saw it. Once you slide open the heavy glass door, you'd walk into a temperature controlled room smelling of cheese. All four sides of the room were filled with stacks of cheese wheels. Some were quite expensive though, there was a tiny piece of French blue cheese that cost over £5.




Thursday 7 April 2011

Foodie Murakami

For the written assessment of EALC30000, I have to translate an extract from Murakami's Norwegian Wood. I've never read it (English or Japanese), and I still haven't seen the movie. But from this short extract that I've read, I love it already, simply because it's about food.

I'm quite pleased our teacher chose this passage, not only is the language really easy to understand (no big words or difficult grammar; very casual conversations), it's about food, so all the vocabulary is food-related. Aji (horse mackerel - remember the time when I tried to fillet horse mackerel and made the big mess?), knives, chopping board, whetstone, and food with Kansai flavours. The extract reads like a foodie blog!

Ottolenghi's aubergines

Today's dinner is roasted aubergine with sofrito and chickpeas, a Spanish-inspired dish by Yotam Ottolenghi. I found the recipe from The Guardian (always packed with wonderful recipes) a few days ago.

The dish is pretty nice. But this dish takes like 2 hours to prepare and cook...I might not cook it again for a long time.

Recently I've fallen in love with aubergine and coriander seeds (coriander seeds are so fragrant!). Actually it's been a lot easier than imagined to be a vegetarian. There's so much choice, variety and versatility when it comes to vegetables, and the thought of plenty of nutrients in my food makes me happy.


mashed chickpeas

sofrito - onion, red peppers, chopped tomatoes, sherry vinegar, bay leaves, paprika, coriander seeds, garlic


Tuesday 5 April 2011

Dissertation

Good news: I'm making progress on the dissertation. Word count-wise. So far 2000/12000.

Bad news: lack of structure and coherence. I know what I want to write about, and there's a vague plan, but it's not good enough. Everything Mr. Gerig taught about writing an essay (literary commentary to be exact, but the format applies to all essays really) isn't here. I need a clear thesis. 12,000 words make it difficult to be coherent, I seem to drift off the topic on occasions. It's hard to have a clear flow of argument, because everything is inter-related so I don't really know how to link the points together. Plus, I'm still doing reading, so new sources and information keep popping up, and I have to figure out a way to incorporate these new ideas.

I just e-mailed my tutor and postponed the meeting. Right now what I've got is 2000 words on a word document, random unrelated paragraphs in a size 12 Times New Roman font. Maybe I should approach my dissertation as a recipe of a cake. I will do all the research, make sure I have all the ingredients and exact calculations. Then I'll add the ingredients and incorporate them together in an orderly fashion, and spend time "baking" (=writing) it - cooking time will definitely be more than 30 minutes - and perhaps a dissertation meeting with the tutor would be like letting the cake cool and putting icing on top to make it better.


Friday 1 April 2011

the countdown

1st April - for me it's not April Fools. It's the start of the countdown to the end of my student life. Today I paid £42 to hire the graduation gown, hood and cap. And I reserved tickets for the ceremony. This is it, last 2 months of my 20 years of education.

This is what's going to happen in the next 2 months:

4 April: EALC30012 essay on Kabuki due
5 April: planning to hand in my resignation at the restaurant
6 April: stupid EALC30000 grammar test (yes - we're still doing JLPT 2級 stuff. *yawn*)
8 April: last EALC32000 assessed presentation
30 April: (hopefully) my last day of work at the restaurant

3 May: EALC32000 essay (in Japanese) due
6 May: EALC30000 Japanese-English translation (3.5 pages from Norwegian Wood - it's about food and cooking. Thank goodness I took the time to read recipe books when I was in Japan)
9 May: EALC30000 oral assessment (another 10min speech?)
13 May: Dissertation due
16 May: parents' 30th (pearl) anniversary
24 May: EALC32000 exam (translation plus Japanese writing)
31 May: EALC30012 Japanese Theatre in Historical Perspective exam

After the exams I'll probably do absolutely nothing for a few days before heading south to London to look for a new place to live in. June is going to be just flat-hunting and house moving. Graduation is 14th July, then after that I'll probably go to HK to visit family. And while I'm in the Far East I'm hoping to hop onto a 3-hour flight to KIX so I can feel like the old days again. Maybe just for a week or so.

Apart from travelling, there are several things I'd like to do this summer: read novels (there are way too many books I want to and ought to read which I haven't had the time to do so), watch movies (ditto), catch up with friends in London and HK, read lots of magazines, blog more often and take plenty of photographs.

My parents asked me what I'd like as a present (for graduation - I don't really know why. Should I be getting a present?). The first thing that came into my mind is a Canon EOS5D Mark II, a full-frame DSLR with HD video. Yes - I'm ready to jump ship (from Nikon to Canon). I still love my Nikon F50 and I still love film photography. But a DSLR is just so handy. Anyway I thought of it, but immediately abandoned the idea. The camera costs like £2k+, there's no way I'd have my parents pay that sort of money. So then I thought of a Canon (!) PowerShot S95, which would replace my current Panasonic Lumix DSC-LX3. S95 is a little more compact so I can tuck it away into my pretty plum-coloured clutch from Coach. But then they might be baffled by the idea of me getting yet another camera...

Thursday 24 March 2011

what a day

Let me start with Tuesday. After work I rushed home (bumping into Wen Chean on the way - she was just leaving the gym) to make chocolate brownies. I was already really hungry but didn't start to eat dinner (edamame and miso soup) until I put the first batch of brownies into the oven. Having made brownies using this "best-ever" recipe (see previous post) a few times, I now have a few ideas to improve the recipe. 1) add 1/2 tsp of vanilla essence to enhance the smell and flavour; 2) baking time should be 40 mins (45mins was a little too much - starting to get a little dry); 3) the ratio of dark chocolate and milk chocolate could be adjusted to personal taste. About the dark/milk chocolate issue, personally I love dark chocolate (honestly I eat dark chocolate exclusively - you'd never see me eating anything with less than 60% cocoa), but I understand it could a bit too bitter for people who prefer milk chocolate.

Anyway after I finish baking the brownies, I took a shower, packed my bag for the next day and went to bed at around 11pm. On Wednesday morning I got up at 5am. Why? Because I had to catch the 0700 train from Manchester Piccadilly to London Euston. I got to the office 15 minutes before the pre-arranged 10am time. I was the only candidate there to take the e-tray assessment that particular day so it was nice not to have any disturbance. I had just about enough time to read through all the e-mails, attachments and select the appropriate replies. Then I wrote the e-mail (as the written assessment), although 50 mins was just about enough. In the end I didn't have much time to make notes (for the subsequent interview).

Between the assessment on the computer and the interviews I was whisked away to a fancy lunch with an associate. She was incredibly nice and throughout lunch I discovered that we had quite a lot in common (including a common friend!); she studied Japanese (at Oxford though) and she did the IB diploma at a boarding school in Hertfordshire.

After lunch it was the e-tray interview. I was interviewed about the e-mail I composed in the written assessment. The interviewer happened to be a Chinese lady from HK who shared the same surname as me. The interview was obviously carried out in English, but I guess I was clear in the explanation and justification of my written piece so she didn't really ask me that many questions. We had some time left before the partner arrived so we just chatted about Japan and HK. Then the partner arrived, after I introduced myself and talked about university and part-time jobs and internship, he asked me only a couple of competency questions, the rest of the time was him talking about his career so far. He asked me "why Osaka" and I told him about my past experience in Kansai and how I like the people from Kansai. I guess that pleased him 'cause he's actually from Hirakata (大阪府枚方市)! At the end of the interview he walked me out of the building and we had a very short conversation in Japanese about Osaka.

I left the office at around 3.40pm and didn't know what to do next. I had planned to meet Piotr in Tower Hill at 6pm so I still had plenty of time. I didn't want to go anywhere on the Tube 'cause I'm afraid someone would call my mobile and there wouldn't be any reception. Yesterday was really sunny and unusually warm so I decided to walk from Chancery Lane to Tower Hill. On the way, about 40 mins after I left Chancery Lane, I got a call from the first interviewer and she told me that I'd been successful - in Cantonese! It was really noisy on the street but I managed to pick up words such as "congratulations" etc...but afterwards I kept thinking whether I was making things up in my mind or not. (When I got home at midnight I saw the e-mail in the inbox.)

Yesterday was a really long day. I got up at 5am and didn't get home till midnight. Adrenaline really kept me going. I had two dinner dates and was talking basically the entire day. When I got onto the train at 9.40pm and sat down in my seat, I was still a little bit jittery, but then half an hour into the journey I suddenly felt really exhausted and fell asleep (most people were asleep). So many things happened, and I really couldn't believe how a person's life can be changed in just one day. I guess I'll be flat-hunting in June and rejoin the Londoners.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

がんばれ日本。私もがんばります。

Today I made an online donation at Red Cross UK. As insignificant as it is, that's all I can do right now. The closer I follow the news feed, the more I read about the terrible things happening in Japan, the more I want to be there. Having studied the language for over 5 years, having lived and studied there, this is a country I've grown to love. I'm (still) not a Japan fanatic. I don't blindly love everything about that country. There are certain things and people in Japan that bug me. But all the good things about it have created an intangible but strong tie between my mind and that rising sun.

I remember writing in my UCAS personal statement, that I hoped to enter diplomacy or journalism as a profession. Although at the moment I'm heading towards a different career path, I don't think I'll ever give up that aspiration, especially not now. I might have been unsuccessful at this year's Fast Stream selection, but I will try again in the future. Seeing footages on the TV and reading articles in the papers about everything that's happening in Japan, the voice in my mind keeps saying "I should be there - reporting the news or helping with the search and rescue". I didn't study Japanese so that I could experience a natural disaster, but knowing the language makes me think that I should be there utilise what I've learned and hopefully help someone in need. Making a donation doesn't satisfy my feelings. Having said that, it is still important that we all make a small contribution - people of the Tohoku region are living with lack of food, water, electricity in the freezing conditions. They need all the help they can get.

Monday 14 March 2011

best-ever brownies


Seriously, this recipe makes the most amazing, moist and decadent chocolate brownies, ever. Roomie Wen Chean makes this from time to time and I pestered her until she gave me the recipe. It's from BBC Good Food. Today I made it for the first time, since it's Megan's birthday. Personally I don't like white chocolate (it's not chocolate!), I replaced it with milk chocolate so altogether I used 185g of dark chocolate and 100g of milk chocolate. The use of dark chocolate and golden caster sugar and 3 eggs make this brownies incredibly moist and fudgy. I've seen recipes that uses no real chocolate (using cocoa powder instead) - come on! how can it be chocolatey without real chocolate? Strangely, the chocolate brownie recipe from The Hummingbird Bakery has similar ingredients to this one from BBC Good Food, but I remember the last time I used the Hummingbird recipe the brownies came out quite greasy...maybe it's the way the ingredients were incorporated?



Andrew says his flatmate James and his sister make the best brownies, I don't know if mine have the deliciousness to rival his favourites. We shall see...

P.S. In addition to the replacement of the white chocolate, the baking time needed to be extended to around 40-45 mins. 25-30 mins is simply not long enough.

Saturday 12 March 2011

Sendai

That's really everyone and anyone could think about the past couple of days. I don't know anyone from the Tohoku region, but I think my parents have some friends from Sendai. I don't know how they're doing. My friends in Tokyo are well, which I'm very grateful for. Natural disasters on such a scale are always devastating, but as this has occurred in a country very dear to me and many of my friends and family, it's especially heart-breaking.

I was actually in Sendai this time last year. I was travelling alone and took the very long journey to Miyagi prefecture because I wanted to visit Matsushima Bay, one of the 日本三景. Not only was I impressed by the natural beauty of Matsushima, I also came to like Sendai the city very much. It's cold (weather-wise), but the people are very nice and stylish, and the streets are beautiful and full of greenery. Not to mention they're famous for sea urchin and oysters.





These photos would look very different now...

Friday 11 March 2011

sundried tomato stuffed mushrooms

For dinner I had a Quorn savoury eggs and lettuce salad, and sundried tomato stuffed mushrooms. The first one is just something I make every now and then, when I'm hungry and don't want to cook. Just throw the savoury eggs and lettuce together, add splashes of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, pinches of salt and pepper and voila.



The latter - sundried tomato stuffed mushrooms - is from a recipe I found on smittenkitchen.com, a food blog which Morgan, my flatmate Wen Chean and myself have grown to love. The dish is not difficult to make although it takes a bit of an effort to make the stuffing. The result is really satisfying though. Healthy, delicious...and I love every bit of the ingredients: mushrooms (first roasted for 10mins to extract the moisture - you know how soggy mushrooms can get when they get cooked), sundried tomatoes, breadcrumbs, parmegiano-reggiano, parsley, egg yolk...all stuffed into the mushroom cap and become little balls of heaven. This dish makes a great canapé, or you can did what I did, eat 7 of them as dinner...

Tuesday 8 March 2011

Lent

Lent '09 - I gave up Facebook.
Lent '10 - I gave up caffeine.

This year I'm giving up meat. I'll be a temporary vegetarian - for 40 days (plus Sundays). What will I be eating then? Hmmm... I'll probably start exploring and trying out recipes from 101 Cookbooks, the beautifully written and illustrated foodie blog.

My weekly grocery shopping list would look something like this:

Dorset Cereals raisin-free muesli (I eat this everyday for breakfast. It has replaced bran flakes as my favourite breakfast food)
Berries (blackberries, raspberries, blueberries... whichever one's on offer. I add berries to the muesli and together it's my favourite meal of the day)
Chicken thigh fillets
Salmon
Prawns
Tofu
Lettuce
Baby avocado
Tomatoes
Nuts (almonds, pistachios, soya nuts - all unsalted)
Semi-skimmed milk
Flat-leaf parsley
Coriander
Basil
Chinese leaf
Aubergine
Cheese (parmigiano-reggiano, blue stilton, gruyere, goat cheese etc. whichever one I feel like that week)
Pak choi (I'm still very Chinese at heart)
Quorn savoury eggs (sounds disgusting and they don't look that appealing either, but I just really like eating them)
Mushrooms (portobello, shiitake, chestnut etc.)
eggs

I've given up red meat as a new year resolution anyway, so hopefully it shouldn't be too much of a transition from no red meat to no meat. I just have to give up chicken, fish and other seafood for ~40 days. Will need to make sure I get enough protein from eggs, milk, cheese, tofu and beans though.

Monday 7 March 2011

the bare necessities

Since I started working at the shop/restaurant, I've had 3 customers asking for my phone number and asking me out for coffee/dinner. Flattering as it may be, it really baffles me that on all 3 occasions, I was wearing glasses, no make-up and very plain clothes...so how did I manage to have 3 different guys to ask me out? I have no idea. Although I gave out my phone number to two of them, I never went out with any of the guys.

I only wear make-up for special occasions, interviews, birthday dinners and parties etc. But on those occasions I have never been asked out or flirted with (although to be honest I'm not really sure what flirting actually involves...not much experience in that area). I remember when I went to get a hair cut when I was in Osaka, the hairdresser (a Japanese guy) said he was really surprised and he found it really rare that I was a girl who had absolutely no make-up on. Japanese girls are always fully made-up, many with fake lashes and contact lenses that make their eyes scarily big.

So when I was web-browsing the other day, and found this article on Marie Claire US. Do men find women with no make-up more approachable? I always feel that a little make-up is better than none. Although I feel comfortable without make-up (and that's my look for most days), I always feel a little make-up can boost a girl's confidence and enhance her appearance. Maybe I should turn this into a little social experiment, and see how make-up affects one's chance with the opposite sex. It wouldn't exactly be a valid/reliable experiment, since I have so little practice/experience with the opposite sex...

Sunday 6 March 2011

Tarte aux pommes

My brother, Sam, keeps asking me to make this dessert, even though I've never made it before. It's just that he really wants to try it but he doesn't bake. He cooks (paella, roast chicken etc) all sorts of food and he's pretty good, but he never bakes. No idea why. Anyway since we've now entered into his last week in Manchester (the secondment at the Manchester office is ending soon), I've decided to indulge him and his laziness.

I have a couple of recipes by Julia Child and Elizabeth David, but in the end I settled with one from the internet - Ms. Glaze's Pommes d'Amour. This is a food blog written by a Cordon Bleu-trained chef. The result was pretty good and quite similar to the photo in the original blog. Although next time I'll skip the 30ml of water, the apples were juicy enough on their own. It wasn't too sweet and I just love the smell of the cinnamon sticks!


Tarte aux pommes is not difficult to make, but it does take time and effort. Peeling and slicing 6 apples (the recipe said 7 but I found 6 to be sufficient) is quite time consuming.


For lunch, I made my own version - the lazy man/woman version of chicken cacciatore. Basically, I had 3 very ripe vine tomatoes I had to get rid of, and had no onion, thyme, white wine or white wine vinegar. This is the quick and simple version -

3 large, ripe tomatoes. Blanched, skinned and diced.
3 pieces of chicken thigh
bay leaf
a few cloves of garlic, crushed
sea salt, coarsely ground black pepper
dried basil
tomato puree
olive oil

I just pan-fried the chicken thigh and garlic until it was browned on both sides, then added all the herbs, spices, tomatoes. Then I put on the lid and cooked until the chicken is thoroughly cooked and the tomatoes become a mushy paste. Voila, a very quick lunch.


Okay I know it doesn't look very appealing...

Wednesday 2 March 2011

02032011

Last night I was browsing on the internet and found out that SOAS had already sent out all the JLPT results in the post. So this morning when I left the flat for the 10am class, I saw the Royal Mail van right outside the reception (where our pigeon holes are). First thing I did after class was go back and get my mail - and there it was, the big white envelope saying "please do not bend". I passed! The score is not great though, and somewhere in my mind is thinking that I should retake this exam later this year to try and get a higher score. Hmm...



As a token of thanks to the tutors and lecturers who helped me with the speech contest and postgraduate applications, I made a chocolate cake - the same one I made for Seb's and Wen Chean's birthdays. Now that I've made it 3 times, I can definitely tell that the first one I made for Seb was the best one. That time I realised that the amount of ingredients was too excessive so I reduced it proportionally, but then it didn't taste or look as good. So next time I shall stick to the original recipe (from The Primrose Bakery cookbook).



In the afternoon got a phone call from my parents. They were calling to congratulate me on the JLPT, and then it spiralled downwards into the usual - heated discussion about my plan post-graduation. I would tell you all the details here, but that just makes me even more upset and angry. So I won't.

Sometimes I feel like I'm enjoying life, but that doesn't happen often. Most other times I'm distressed over dissertation and graduation, and the mess that my personal life is.

Tuesday 1 March 2011

Sideburns and wet breeches

The man of the moment is of course, the newly crowned king best actor at the Academy Awards, Colin Firth, a.k.a. Mr. Darcy.

Having been educated at an all-girls school, where Pride and Prejudice is a set text in the GCSE English Literature curriculum (and was voted the most popular novel every year during the seven years I was there), my girlfriends and I have been fans of Colin Firth since watching the classic BBC adaptation. Although for me, it wasn't the wet shirt (which millions of women in this country seem to be obsessed with) scene that "sealed the deal", it was the scene when Elizabeth (Jennifer Ehle) visits Pemberley, Mr. Darcy intently watches her playing Mozart's "Voi che sapete" (from Le nozze di Figaro) and oh-my-goodness Colin Firth's glowing face -


In Year 12 I shared a room with Sarah, who hails from Seattle, and we shared a mutual passion for Colin Firth/Mr. Darcy. We even had a noticeboard dedicated to pictures of Colin Firth in our room, so impressive that it got mentioned in the nationally published The Good Schools Guide:


Of course I own a DVD copy of the mini-series, and I watch the entire series (6 episodes, 5 hours in total) at least once a year. The last time I did the P&P marathon was last spring, in my room in Osaka with Larisa and Morgan and big bowls of microwave popcorn. That was a lovely afternoon.

Apart from Pride and Prejudice and The King's Speech, one of Colin Firth's finest work must be A Single Man, which earned him his first Oscar nomination (last year). While I have yet to watch the film (there are way too many films I want to watch but haven't had the time to do so), - and read in some reviews that the film looked more like a very long perfume advert - the praise for Firth's acting was unanimously acclaimed.

Another art house type film that Colin Firth did, and one that I had actually watched and liked, is Girl with a Pearl Earring. It's quite a slow-moving film, but the subtly portrayed attraction and sexual tension between Firth (who plays Vermeer) and Scarlett Johansson is incredibly lascivious.

Obviously Colin Firth is also remembered for many often romantic, but not so Oscar-worthy, comedies such as Bridget Jones's Diary and Love Actually. Incidentally both of these films also starred another British export in the name of Hugh Grant. Today I read an article on the Telegraph website, which amused me greatly, where the writer compared Firth and Grant (who are actually born a day apart):
Firth is the movie star Hugh Grant could have been if he a) gave the impression of loving acting, and b) actually did some.
A bit mean, but so true. I really liked Hugh Grant in Notting Hill. But he seems to play the same character in every single film he starred in - himself.

At the many ceremonies where Colin Firth's acting was honoured with many awards, you can see him being accompanied by his classy and beautiful wife, Livia. Apparently she owns an eco-fashion store in Chiswick. Since the success of A Single Man last year, she's been using all the red carpet opportunities to showcase eco-friendly fashion in front of all the cameras. "The Green Carpet Challenge" has been covered by Vogue UK. Not only does Mrs. Firth look absolutely stunning, the man himself also looked rather dapper and handsome in a Tom Ford suit.



(Photo source: Vogue.co.uk)

my smitten kitchen

following yesterday's fantasy about the perfect dinner party, today I'll illustrate how my dream kitchen would look like...

first of all it'd be something like Meryl Streep's in It's Complicated, where it's a combined open kitchen/dining room. Plus I want exposed bricks and hardwood floors (although tiles would be easier to clean).


I'll need two full-sized ovens (plus grill) and a double-door fridge. And plenty of shelves for all the spices and ingredients. Actually come to think of it, Nigella Lawson's kitchen (featured in her shows) is pretty dreamy too.

I've found more lovely photos on Elle Decor (an amazing website of the US magazine; the UK version of the magazine doesn't have a website!) -






(Photo source: Elle Decor)

Sunday 27 February 2011

a sweet fantasy

Right now I'm fantasising about having an intimate dinner party with my Handai friends (in my dream house and kitchen :P) -

guest list: Morgan, Seb, Andrew, Daan, Reinout, Larisa, Ivan, Mark, Naomi

menu:

pan-fried scallops
breadcrumb-coated goat cheese
boeuf bourguignon
tomates a la provençale
mushroom risotto
tomato and mozzarella pizza
chestnut mushroom and mozzarella pizza
cæsar salad
chicken cacciatore

desserts:
chocolate cake
chocolate brownies
mississippi mud pie
pumpkin pie


I can imagine all ten of us sitting all together (an oblong table or a round one?), with a vintage chandelier hanging from the ceiling, eating and chatting and sharing plenty of laughters and love.

Saturday 26 February 2011

お疲れさまでした

I'm now on the way back to Manchester. Okay no I didn't win the speech contest, but I really enjoyed myself today. Met the nicest people and had a fabulous time. I was really relieved when the speech was over. When I was leaving the stage and walking down the stairs in those stilettos I could feel my legs shaking...I was so pleased with myself for not messing anything up. I delivered the speech the best I could (although there was still a little panicking), and answered the questions the best I could, so I'm pretty pleased. Plus even though I didn't place in the competition, being a finalist also came with a little perks:

- £6 lunch money (despite I only spent £3.15 on a Pret a Manger salad)
- train tickets paid for
- £100 which I now have to contact the sponsor to get it
- £10 book voucher
- £50 restaurant voucher (pretty awesome actually 'cause I don't think I've ever spent that much on a meal before)
- a book on the Edo period
- a book on Japanese bento recipes (perhaps too kawaii for my taste)
- a (yet another) very kawaii bento box set
- subscription to a Japanese newsletter

After the ceremony I talked to the chief judge and she gave me some really useful feedback. She said that my most obvious strength was my pronunciation and accent, that it was really easy to understand. There were two points that I needed to improve on: 1) the speech needed more personal experience - I could have elaborated on my experience in Okinawa; 2) my speech covered many points and everything was really detailed, BUT I needed to focus on one main point/thesis and emphasise that.

During the drinks reception I had really lovely conversations with some of the audience. There was a number of Japanese ladies who were in the audience came up to me and said how they liked my speech, and they really hoped that I had won blah blah blah (you know the usual "I'm sorry you lost" consolation), a couple said that I looked "really pretty" on the stage (lol). And I was thinking "hmm thanks? that didn't win me the competition but thank you for the compliment..." One Japanese lady also said that she only knew a little about the whole Futenma air base situation, despite it being such a prominent issue in Japan, and that my speech gave her better understanding of the issue. I also talked to two solicitors from Baker & McKenzie (who is one of the major sponsors of the competition), which was really interesting and they kept trying to influence me to do law, my Dad would definitely agree with them.

One of the judges (a lecturer from Sheffield) actually spent his year abroad at Osaka (Gaidai) as well, and he knows Richard Harrison of Kobe University too. Another finalist, Matt, went to Kyodai with John and Paulina...the world of Japanese Studies is very small indeed.

I think I'm surprised at myself too - for not being upset about losing. I'm usually pretty competitive, but I think in this case I've already tried my best and since the competition was so fierce and everyone else did so well, I wasn't really expecting myself to surpass others' achievements. And having people coming up to me afterwards saying how they enjoyed listening to my speech, that itself was pretty flattering already, and kinda cool. Plus the fact that it was Andrew who won made the whole day even more wonderful.



[update at 2304]

okay I can't believe I just started crying on the train... I'm absolutely exhausted, but that's not why I'm crying. I had the most amazing time today, meeting new people, talking to other students, the judges and the members of the audience. I was speaking (mostly) in Japanese to Japanese people. I had the most fun I've had in many months, and it's the fact that it's all over that upsets me. I had an immensely enjoyable time today, especially because I was with Andrew and Seb and being surrounded by Japanese people - everything just made me miss our year in Japan even more. And now I have to face my mundane life at the university, not studying any advance Japanese and having to stress over the dissertation. I just can't believe today went by so quickly...

Friday 25 February 2011

London-bound

Last night I decided I've had enough of the black background and changed it to white, a little more cheerful perhaps?

Right now I'm on the train, which has yet to depart from the platform. It's my first time blogging from a train. Or rather, it's my first time taking this MacBook out of my room and using it in public. The train is pretty packed, probably because of half-term and it's a Friday.

I'm London-bound - tomorrow is the speech contest. I guess I'm pretty ready...I still get nervous, even when practicing on my own. But the speech itself, it's my best efforts and I'm already pretty proud of myself for getting through to the finals and having written the speech.

Let's see what happens tomorrow...

Thursday 24 February 2011

anxiety strikes

"How do you feel?"
"Full of hot air."
"Isn't that what public speaking is all about?"

(The King's Speech)

Two days till the big competition. Well it's not that big. But it is my first time doing a formal original speech (unlike the reading at the school's carol service), and my first time participating in a public speaking competition (in any language).

I have never been someone who's full of confidence. Even though my time as a student ambassador has really helped me with speaking to an audience, I just hope that on Saturday I won't faint at the sight of possibly over a hundred people.

Thursday 17 February 2011

"Vivian's Speech"

Today I freaked out about next Saturday's speech contest. I fear that when I go up to the stage (I'm last on the programme!) I'll have an anxiety attack and start stuttering through my speech.

To make myself feel a little better, I keep going back to last month when I spoke in front of perhaps 100 16-17 year olds at university about the IB diploma. It was at one of the University Place lecture theatres, which is absolutely massive (even bigger when they merge the two theatres into one), and I've been to SOAS's Brunei Gallery and I know UP is much bigger so at least I've had the experience of speaking in front of a large audience in a large theatre, and I know I did pretty well the other time (considering I hadn't prepared a speech beforehand)... BUT, that was public speaking in English and it was about personal experience so I didn't need to prepare anything and it wasn't a competition. This time is in Japanese and I have to memorise 10 minutes of speech and pretend to be all serious and smart and talk about politics.

I'm really grateful to the Japanese tutors at the University, who have given my some great feedback and suggestions on how to improve my speech. I know I still have a lot to work on, and I really want to win - not necessarily in the competition - but in competing against myself, hoping that I could overcome all the fear and anxiety of giving a speech in a foreign language. I (sort of) conquered it in English, and now it's in Japanese.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

food!

Not only have I completely cut out red meat, fizzy drinks and alcohol from my life, I've also cut down the amount of carbs, and replacing it with protein-rich food and lots and lots of veg and fruit.


Seafood such as fish and prawns are very high in protein, so lately I've been eating a lot of prawns and salmon. This is my "two-way with prawns" dish: one half is eaten cold (ripe baby avocado, pan-fried king prawns, coriander, sea salt and coarsely ground pepper, lime juice), the other half is eaten hot (king prawns cooked in self-made tomato and basil coulis).


This is what I had tonight: aubergines au gratin (from Elizabeth David's French Provincial Cooking), with a slight Italian twist - I added grated parmesan to the aubergine layers. It's basically aubergine slices baked in a tomato coulis with parsley and breadcrumbs. Baked in a slow oven (150ºC) for an hour.

I've also developed a liking for Quorn savoury eggs...

Tuesday 15 February 2011

15022011

Today was a rather bizarre day...

The morning was typical. An hour work-out at the gym following my recent favourite raisin-free muesli.

In the afternoon I got an e-mail from SOAS - got an offer for the postgrad course in diplomacy. I still have a few weeks before deciding whether to accept or decline the offer. As much as I want to do this course, it's really expensive and I'm still waiting for two upcoming job interviews. But then the dates of the interviews haven't been decided...anyway I'm now much less anxious about my future post-graduation.

While I was at work, a customer came in looking for tofu and wakame (he's going to make miso soup for the first time), so I gave me some suggestion and advice. And then when he was paying for the stuff he asked me out, quite straight-forward "do you want to go out sometime?". I smiled and said 'no'. It was rather odd. Twice before I've had customers asking for my phone number, but then those two guys were sort-of regulars and I'd seen them before. But this guy is a first-time customer and there was't much conversation preceding the asking-out, so it was kinda bizarre.

Being asked out by guys is flattering, but also quite amusing at the same time. Mainly because I'm not used to it, and also because I don't find myself that attractive - especially not when I'm at work. I'm wearing glasses and no makeup, my hair is always tied up...being asked out by strangers just seems like something that only happens on TV or in the movies.

Wednesday 9 February 2011

...what resolutions?

holy crap. what happened to my "daily blog + photograph" resolutions?

honestly I don't feel too guilty about it, 'cause I've been hitting the gym doing hour-long workouts quite often lately, that makes up for everything I guess.

plus my employment prospects are getting a little better, and I'm getting closer to a job offer. And a couple of days ago I got an offer from Durham, which was surprisingly fast considering I only submitted my application less than a fortnight ago...

the only thing on my mind right now is (besides my dissertation) my craving for chocolatey things. the better I am at sticking to the diet & workout, the more I crave for chocoholic havens such as Wen Chean's chocolate brownies and Mississippi mud pie...

Friday 21 January 2011

Odette & Odile




Tonight I watched Darren Aronofsky's new film Black Swan with Wen Chean. It was immense, beautiful, sensual and very very creepy. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis really did a great job and I think they deserve all the praise they've been receiving. But it was creepy, and it would have been more overwhelming had I watched this alone in a dark room.


Behind all the beautiful tutu and elegant moves, there's always a dark side to everyone. It almost lures me into searching for my own darkness. Time to get out the eyeliner and black lace...

The more I dream about it, the more I want to try it - living in New York City. Even though I've been to the city once (back in 2005 during GYLC), it didn't make much of an impression when I was there, but then I didn't really have a chance to explore the city. Right now I'm trying to save up money for summer travels, but I haven't decided where to go yet. Originally I was planning to do InterRailing. But now other places have crossed my mind: North Korea (maybe it's too unpredicted right now), New York or Los Angeles. First thing first: save up money. Target: at least £1500.

Thursday 20 January 2011

m.m.p.



This is the finished piece - Mississippi Mud Pie. I used the recipe from The Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook. It's very rich in chocolate, even though I only used 150g of dark chocolate. But it's sweeter than I had expected (a result of using 300g of soft light brown sugar perhaps?). Anyway this dessert is definitely not good for the body. SIX EGGS I had to use! I headed to the gym soon after I had a slice. Didn't work out much though 'cause my body is being lazy. Last week I had one session where I ran non-stop on the treadmill for half an hour and it felt amazing. But since then I haven't been able to get back into the rhythm, grr...

Another phone interview tomorrow morning (at 9am again - HR people like to test university students, don't they?), followed by a 6-hour day at the University working with secondary school students considering to study the International Baccalaureate Diploma at sixth form/college. IBO should seriously pay me for doing things like these (I'd done it once with Trafford College).

Wednesday 19 January 2011

Self-discovery

This "I'll blog and photograph everyday" resolution isn't working out, is it?

Yesterday I woke up early for a phone interview, and as usual I didn't sleep well. I hadn't been sleeping well lately (until last night). It's all part of this stress/anxiety/depression phase I guess. Anyway after a long day at work I was really exhausted, so soon after I made final changes to my speech (for this morning's oral exam) I went to bed (with hair rollers! they're so much better than the curling tongs) and slept incredibly well... then once again I had to get up early this morning, for the oral exam. In the afternoon I made a Mississippi mud pie, which is now setting in the fridge, and I'll finish it with double cream tomorrow morning.

I'm quite tired too, and I shall tuck in quite soon. But I'm feeling better today. I watched Julia Roberts' Eat, Pray, Love. Honestly it's not really good...and I got bored watching it. But I sort of made a tiny self-discovery. Or at least I gave myself time to think about what I really enjoy doing. Since I came back from Japan I haven't taken many photographs, I haven't done much travelling, I haven't sung anything or played the piano or the clarinet at all. All I've been thinking is dissertationjobhuntingexamsclassesreadingessaysapplicationsinterviewstests...

I know we have to be realistic and pragmatic. I don't have the money or time to go off travelling like Elizabeth Gilbert. But at least I remember what I like doing and the satisfaction and happiness I once had. I remember the year in Japan, the solo trip I took to Prague two years ago...I was taking photos everywhere I went and I was marvelled by everything I saw. I remember going to theatres and concert halls, and the feeling of chills down my spine and getting goosebumps everywhere whilst listening to Joshua Bell and Midori doing their virtuosic cadenzas, and singers belting out that last note that makes you stop breathing for half a minute. What I need to do, is just to get myself into doing these things again...I just don't know when I can afford this luxury.

Monday 17 January 2011

s-a-l-a-d



today I threw some stuff together and made a very satisfying quick lunch (a variation of the salad I had yesterday).

1 ripe baby avocado
1 little gem lettuce
moderate amount of Gruyere, chopped into small pieces
lightly toasted wholemeal bread (I used this Irish yeast-free loaf I bought from Asda), cut into small pieces
coarse sea salt
coarsely ground black pepper
olive oil
balsamic vinegar

It was actually quite filling and I didn't feel hungry until Sam came to make me dinner (salmon fishcakes with spinach and potatoes).


Right now I'm in a musical theatre mood. Last night I downloaded Highlights from the Chess concert at the Royal Albert Hall (starring Idina Menzel, Josh Groban and Kerry Ellis) for just £0.79 for the entire highlights album. Bargain! In addition to Chess, I'm also listening to Spring Awakening, Hairspray, Miss Saigon, Rent, Les Miserables (duh) and The Phantom of the Opera. Aah I can never get bored of it!

P.S. Y-A-Y for Colin Firth who won Best Actor at the Golden Globes last night!

Sunday 16 January 2011

the weekend

Didn't blog last night...was too exhausted after work. Didn't do much today really. Went to the gym after grocery shopping with Sam, but then I did have a tiny revelation by throwing various fruit and veg I had and made a lovely salad for dinner:

1 avocado
1 little gem lettuce
1 yellow bell pepper
2 ripe plum tomatoes
coarse sea salt
coarsely ground black pepper
balsamic vinegar
extra virgin olive oil

I basically chopping everything up and mixed together. Simplest thing ever.

I also had a ready-made pad thai as dinner. I have descended to the laziness of microwaveable ready meals. God what is happening to me? Browsing on NHS Choices, I seem to have symptoms for depression, anxiety, and stress. Not good.

Friday 14 January 2011

a chocful of love



Today is roomie Wen Chean's birthday. I made her the same chocolate cake I made for Seb's birthday last November. I wanted to make something I had done (succesfully) before so I won't mess someone's birthday cake up. But I still managed to mess it up somehow. Okay it tastes alright and it looks alright, but I was impatient and one of the cake layer sort of broke into pieces when I flipped it over when it was still warm (should have waited until it was cooled!), such a rookie mistake. 9 years of baking experience should not result in this. Argh it makes me mad when I fail at things I know I'm good at.

Lately when I'm thinking about my career and future etc., I keep thinking "what if I had known what I wanted to be from very early on?" and "what if I could choose again? what would I do?". Obviously we can't travel back in time, but if I could it again...I think I might choose musical theatre. Even though I had seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and The Lion King when I was young, but I was never moved or inspired...until I saw Les Miserables at a school production. Then I saw videos of young classical singers performing arias and art songs and all these things made me wanted to take voice lessons. I never wanted to perform in school musicals, I thought musicals and singing were too girly and that they were only for the dominating drama queens. But now when I think about it I really loved it when I pour all my heart and soul into performing a musical number, it gets out all my energy and it feels great! Well now it's a bit too late, isn't it? Plus I can't dance (at all), maybe I can act? And even though my singing has improved since taking voice lessons (I swear I couldn't sing at all before that), I'll never be good enough to become a professional. Hmmm...it's never bad to dream eh? I can keep singing in the shower ;)

Wednesday 12 January 2011

Another photo-less blog entry. My apologies.

Nothing much happened today, except for a short visit to the waxing salon down the road, and I made Coq au vin for dinner.

On the job-hunting front, things are looking a little better. Today I did two separate sets of reasoning tests (my eyes are exhausted from staring at the computer screen for too long), and now I have two upcoming telephone interviews, both are happening next week (why do employers like to have phone interviews at 9am? Are they trying to test us and see if we can get up early in the morning?).

On the other hand, zero progress on dissertation/Japanese speech.

Tuesday 11 January 2011

Down in the slums



Today I finished the new dessert menu for the restaurant. That's probably my only achievement today.

The day began with me drowning in depression. The POLI30101 essay mark was published online and I have never ever done so badly on an essay at university. Why? why does it happen in my final year? Not only is my chance of achieving a First in jeopardy, I have now given up applying to Oxford for postgrad.

The day got a little bit better when I did well at work, but I hate to think that my only achievement comes in waitressing/shopkeeping. I do realise that I've been whining a lot lately, but I don't think I've ever felt like this before. Everyday I get up and I can't find a thing to look forward to or feel excited about. I know being all self-centred and whiny is not good at all, for me or for anyone, but it's just impossible right now. When will things get better?