Sunday 22 February 2009

cupcakes collection







as you might have guessed from the blog's title, yes - I love cupcakes. they are little heavenly and the sweetest creatures.

Thursday 19 February 2009

h&m

in the dressing room...




(bottom right: what I was actually wearing yesterday - stella mccartney for comic relief t-shirt plus uniqlo jeans)

Saturday 14 February 2009

h.v.d.

happy valentine's day.


my 21st valentine's day. once again, no flowers, no roses, no chocolates.
just me, all alone.

oh well.

I'm happy.

Saturday 7 February 2009

tatyana

"Are you my guardian angel?
Or a treacherous tempter?"

I ordered the Metropolitan Opera's 2007 production of Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin on HMV and it arrived at my doorstep this morning. Eugene Onegin was the first professional opera I ever saw; it was April 2008 at the Royal Opera House. I had seen Le nozze di Figaro before, but that was a student production at the Royal Northern College of Music. I bought this DVD not only because the story means significantly to me, but this Met production featured the greatest living soprano and my heroine of opera - Renee Fleming.

I adore the character of Tatyana, and I loved Renee's portrayal of Tatyana. First of all, I can totally stand in Tatyana's shoes. When I saw Onegin at Covent Garden last year, I had been dreaming about love. Now when I watch this DVD, I had already done what Tatyana has done in Act 1. The 'letter scene' suddenly becomes familiar (although I hadn't sung and couldn't sing like Renee); like Tatyana, I once poured all my thoughts, my feelings and hestitations and doubts, all into letters. Renee's portrayal of Tatyana is flawless. Although Renee was already 48 when she sang Tatyana in her first Russian opera, she expressed eloquently the youthfulness and innocence and imagination a 16-year-old girl would possess. Her voice was exquisitely and breathtakingly beautiful, perfectly illustrated in the 10-minute long 'Letter Scene':-



The star-studded cast includes world renowned baritone Dmitri Hvorostovsky and tenor Ramon Vargas, both equally compelling in vocals. The first time I had heard Ramon Vargas's singing was the HD Live transmission of the Metropolitan Opera's 2008 production of La Boheme. His lyrical tenor voice expresses Lensky's pure love for Olga with a touch of sensitivity. Dmitri Hvorostovsky has this majestic, rich and creamy baritone voice that I both adore and dislike - dislike only for the character of Onegin and his heartbreaking rejection of Tatyana's infatuation.

Tchaikovsky's melodramatic music obviously makes up half of his best-known operatic masterpiece, the other half is the verses of Alexander Pushkin. The libretto is based upon Pushkin's novel in verse Eugene Onegin. Although I have yet to read the novel (currently I've got two piles of books on my desk waiting to be read, I just wish I have the time!), I'm already in love with Pushkin's words. The librettists of the opera might have altered some words, but the essence is still there. I can still feel the Tatyana in me when I watch the opera and read the subtitles.

TATYANA
Let me perish, but first let me summon, in dazzling hope,
bliss as yet unknown.
Life's sweetness is known to me!
I drink the magic potion of desire!
I am beset by visions!
Everywhere, everywhere I look,
I see my fatal tempter!
Wherever I look, I see him!

She goes to the writing table, sits down, writes, then pauses.

No, that's all wrong!
I'll begin again!

she tears up the unfinished letter

Ah, what's the matter with me! I'm all on fire!
I don't know how to begin!

She writes, then pauses and reads it over.

'I write to you, - and then? What more is there to say?
Now, I know, it is within your power to punish me with disdain!
But if you nourish one grain of pity for my unhappy lot, you will not abandon me.
At first I wished to remain silent;
then, believe me, you would never have known my shame, never!'

She puts the letter aside.

O yes, I swore to lock within my breast
this avowal of a mad and ardent passion.
Alas, I have not the strength to subdue my heart!
Come what may, I am prepared!
I will confess all! Courage!
He shall know all!

She writes.

'Why, oh why did you visit us?
Buried in this remote countryside,
I should never have known you,
nor should I have known this torment.
The turbulence of a youthful heart,
calmed by time, who knows? -
most likely I would have found another,
have proved a faithful wife
and virtuous mother…'

She becomes lost in thought, then rises suddenly.

Another! No, not to any other in the world
would I have given my heart!
It is decreed on high,
It is the will of heaven: I am yours!
My whole life has been a pledge
of this inevitable encounter;
I know this: God sent you to me,
you are my keeper till the grave!
You appeared before me in my dreams;
as yet unseen, you were already dear,
your wondrous gaze filled me with longing,
your voice resounded in my heart
long ago … no, it was no dream!
As soon as you arrived, I recognized you,
I almost swooned, began to blaze with passion,
and to myself I said: 'Tis he!
'Tis he!
I know it! I have heard you …
Have you not spoken to me in the silence
when I visited the poor
or sought in prayer some solace
for the anguish of my soul?
And just this very moment,
was it not you, dear vision,
that flamed in the limpid darkness,
stooped gently at my bedside
and with joy and love
whispered words of hope?

She returns to the table and sits down again to write.

'Who are you'? My guardian angel or a wily tempter?
Put my doubts at rest.
Maybe this is all an empty dream,
the self?deception of an inexperienced soul,
and something quite different is to be …'

She rises again and paces pensively to and fro.

But so be it! My fate henceforth I entrust to you;
in tears before you, your protection I implore, I implore.
Imagine: I am all alone here!
No one understands me!
I can think no more, and must perish in silence!
I wait for you, I wait for you! Speak the word
to revive my heart's fondest hopes
or shatter this oppressive dream with, alas, the scorn,
alas, the scorn I have deserved!

She goes swiftly to the table, hurriedly finishes the letter and signs and seals it.

Finished! It's too frightening to read over,
I swoon from shame and fear,
but his honour is my guarantee
and in that I put my trust!

She goes to the window and draws aside the curtains. The room is immediately flooded with a rosy dawnlight. A shepherd's pipe is heard in the distance.

Ah, night is past, everything is awake …
and the sun is rising.
The shepherd is playing his pipe …
Everything is peaceful.