お疲れさまでした

I'm now on the way back to Manchester. Okay no I didn't win the speech contest, but I really enjoyed myself today. Met the nicest people and had a fabulous time. I was really relieved when the speech was over. When I was leaving the stage and walking down the stairs in those stilettos I could feel my legs shaking...I was so pleased with myself for not messing anything up. I delivered the speech the best I could (although there was still a little panicking), and answered the questions the best I could, so I'm pretty pleased. Plus even though I didn't place in the competition, being a finalist also came with a little perks:

- £6 lunch money (despite I only spent £3.15 on a Pret a Manger salad)

- train tickets paid for

- £100 which I now have to contact the sponsor to get it

- £10 book voucher

- £50 restaurant voucher (pretty awesome actually 'cause I don't think I've ever spent that much on a meal before)

- a book on the Edo period

- a book on Japanese bento recipes (perhaps too kawaii for my taste)

- a (yet another) very kawaii bento box set

- subscription to a Japanese newsletter

After the ceremony I talked to the chief judge and she gave me some really useful feedback. She said that my most obvious strength was my pronunciation and accent, that it was really easy to understand. There were two points that I needed to improve on: 1) the speech needed more personal experience - I could have elaborated on my experience in Okinawa; 2) my speech covered many points and everything was really detailed, BUT I needed to focus on one main point/thesis and emphasise that.

During the drinks reception I had really lovely conversations with some of the audience. There was a number of Japanese ladies who were in the audience came up to me and said how they liked my speech, and they really hoped that I had won blah blah blah (you know the usual "I'm sorry you lost" consolation), a couple said that I looked "really pretty" on the stage (lol). And I was thinking "hmm thanks? that didn't win me the competition but thank you for the compliment..." One Japanese lady also said that she only knew a little about the whole Futenma air base situation, despite it being such a prominent issue in Japan, and that my speech gave her better understanding of the issue. I also talked to two solicitors from Baker & McKenzie (who is one of the major sponsors of the competition), which was really interesting and they kept trying to influence me to do law, my Dad would definitely agree with them.

One of the judges (a lecturer from Sheffield) actually spent his year abroad at Osaka (Gaidai) as well, and he knows Richard Harrison of Kobe University too. Another finalist, Matt, went to Kyodai with John and Paulina...the world of Japanese Studies is very small indeed.

I think I'm surprised at myself too - for not being upset about losing. I'm usually pretty competitive, but I think in this case I've already tried my best and since the competition was so fierce and everyone else did so well, I wasn't really expecting myself to surpass others' achievements. And having people coming up to me afterwards saying how they enjoyed listening to my speech, that itself was pretty flattering already, and kinda cool. Plus the fact that it was Andrew who won made the whole day even more wonderful.

[update at 2304]

okay I can't believe I just started crying on the train... I'm absolutely exhausted, but that's not why I'm crying. I had the most amazing time today, meeting new people, talking to other students, the judges and the members of the audience. I was speaking (mostly) in Japanese to Japanese people. I had the most fun I've had in many months, and it's the fact that it's all over that upsets me. I had an immensely enjoyable time today, especially because I was with Andrew and Seb and being surrounded by Japanese people - everything just made me miss our year in Japan even more. And now I have to face my mundane life at the university, not studying any advance Japanese and having to stress over the dissertation. I just can't believe today went by so quickly...