Leaving chorus

my life hasn't changed much since I last blogged. it still revolves around the following: JLPT (10 days left!), dissertation, job applications, global governance essay, global governance presentation, Japanese speech, Japanese reading class presentations, part-time job...sleep, shower, eat, and cook.

I feel like crying but I think my tear glands are too proud. It feels like I'm about to crack under all this pressure and stress. Cooking is my way of relaxation, that's really the only time when I feel peaceful and soothed. All the other times I'm just anxious, stressed and exhausted. I haven't been to the gym in weeks, the lack of endorphins is soon to be filled by caffeine. A while ago I decided to give up drinking (alcohol), but now I think I'll take up caffeine instead. I don't usually drink coffee (tea all the way!) because it makes me really jittery and my heart beat speeds up like a sports car, but now I think I might need it for the future all-nighters.

because of the busy schedule I have these days, plus I've been having a crappy time at chorus, I've decided to leave chorus. even in October when I wasn't as busy with work, Wen Chean and I realised that chorus had drastically changed when we temporarily left for our industrial placement and study abroad. the new conductor is not as inspirational as Marcus, the repertoire is not as exciting as Elgar/Britten/Mendelssohn/Orff, and the committee seems to be lacking organisation. at the beginning I knew that I couldn't sing in the December concert because it clashes with the JLPT in London, so there hasn't been motivation for me to attend rehearsals and enjoy singing with chorus. then came November when work really started to kick my ass, I just couldn't make it to the rehearsals. Thursday is my busiest day at the University, with the last lecture (with the politics lecturer who resembles Brad Pitt) ending at 1800, I'm usually exhausted by that time. so basically that's the story...it's quite sad, when I think about it, because in my second year I put in so much time and effort into chorus, being the committee's secretary, preparing for the concerts (especially the big one at Bridgewater Hall). It was so much fun and very rewarding watching 2,000 people coming in to listen to us sing. But now I know that's not going to happen again.

anyway these days instead of singing Haydn with the chorus, I'm singing Les Mis in my room. And apparently my singing is more audible than the hoover...